It amazes me in this day and age how people view/percieve others and their ability to be responsble or accountable, or their level of. Being married is an incredible responsibility in of itself. Keeping one going through all of the problems that will arrise in todays world is even more difficult and requires dicipline and flexibility at all times. Throw a child or two into it, and I guess it all doubles, triples??
That part I would not know, for I do not have a child, and at this time in my life (45) I am not at all bothered about not having one. Sure I think about it sometimes, I would guess everyone does. How can you not? Children are all around us. Wether they have homes or not. I think my problem with all of this, is that somehow I am maybe percieved (or am being somehow judged) as not being as responsible or not having many pressures and having a simpler, easier life simply because a child is not in my life. As if it is my fault? While there may well be some truth to this, I don't like being told things such as, "well you can do that, your not a parent" as if to say I got some special pass in life, or am somehow different. Another comment is, you will never know that special joy it brings, you really need this in your life. Do I ?
You also see this type of biased in business as well. Some people are paid better, or get better work shifts, not because of their ability, or performance, but simply because "they have a family" to support and the other person has no kids. It is flat out wrong, and pretty much "another form" of racism. Only there is no color involved here. It affects all races.
*You are paid for the job description and job worked, not your personal circumstances in life.
I am not nor never would I suggest that children or child rearing is a negative or bad thing. Children are of course the future of our society. I just don't know that I am one to raise a child at all. Part maybe for selfish reasons, which is my own business, and part because I simply don't believe I am cut out to do so. Forget the costs, and time involved, which everyone knows is enormous, but simply the unknown, both good and bad. Think of all of the millions of kids abused, killed or simply not loved enough in so many different ways, and ask yourself, would'nt it had been better if their parents had not given birth to them at all?
That said, I'd like to believe I would not be an abusive or un loving father either. There are many kids out there who do not have families or homes, and this is the greater shame/crime one thousand times over.
Not bringing one into the world is honestly no issue at all, but the ones without parents, that is the real problem and issue today.
It is difficult to say what direction we are headed in, in our society in the next 30-50 years. If today is any indication, I am not so sure I'd want to leave a child to our governments plans, and whatever else we have in store for us. That said, today in america even with it's negatives, we live in the greatest country in the world in "my" opinion. I just don't know that me raising a child in it was, is meant to be is all.
So, for all of my so called friends and parents whom think this is a necessity in life because they had a child, wether planned or by accident ( that would be a nice story to tell your kid someday huh?) that this was their lot in life. They made a choice conciously or not, somewhere in time that ended them with children period. As for me, who knows, I may actually have a child out there that I am unaware of. If so, I hope it stays that way. Being grown up or being married does not require a child to be birthed. There are millions of people whom live happily with out children their whole lives, and there is not a thing wrong with them. Now I know my family or even some friends, may feel that there is a source of happiness or joy that this may bring me, because they believe I could somehow benefit from it. And they are just looking out for my best interest, because they CARE!! That might be true, and it might not. But right now, this is my choice, and the last I'd heard, we were free to make those decisions. Stop with the little comments about how I need a child. Or how I will never know the joy, and we wish you could. While I know my parents both love me, and I do them, I know I was oftentimes no joy to raise, and I would not want to have to had raised me for sure.
Just another area in which we judge people and need to stop doing so. It does nothing more than divide us more.